Sometimes life can be so dull and I’ll think to myself, “Why ever can’t there just be a permanent midway between the dullness and fun” so I can have a little of both every time. That is not how life works though, and the best of us know this.

Growing up, I always was… Whatchamacallit. Bigger, older, taller. More mature than my peers. Generally.
My bosom developed like it was racing with the other girls’ bosoms for first place. And it won. Every time. I had the biggest breasts. Still do. I was the first girl to go on her period in my class, probably the first to have sex too… Somehow, all that just took a turn in the opposite direction when I made 18. I went from class fattie, to the other side of the scale. Many whine and lecture me about my weight and if am on a “diet” as though I wished for this to happen. Like I starved myself to what I am today. It is not so easy to be on the receiving end of “you’re too skinny” and this and that when in fact you just have a high metabolism that makes it hard for you to gain weight despite your pig-like eating habits. 

Yes. Life is about being sunshiny yellow today and dull gray tomorrow. 
The fattie at eleven and skinny at twenty one. 
The highs and the lows.
It’s the differences and change that make this life all worthwhile. 

“Life is like a rainbow. You need both the sun and the rain to make its colors appear.”

 Today is really dull. I feel like my life is in a dull-era. It makes me long for the brightness and fun. And having a schedule full of things to do and people to see. Places to go and food to eat. 

I need some excitement in this life of mine.